Monday, November 14, 2011

Fatuous Twits and the Internet

I've been hitting the "Next Blog" button on Blogger here, just for the yucks. That button sends you to a supposedly "similar" themed blog from the one you start on. If you click it repeatedly, the theme wanders and warps depending on the content of each blog you land on.  Once you get too far afield you have to start over from your original source or a new one.  Sometimes you'll end up on a blog that isn't public (really? the programmers couldn't prevent that?) and you have to start over anyway.

When I start from another bead artist's blog, I get to interesting art sites, generally. The path, however degenerates eventually. If you hit a blog in Swedish, you're going Swedish all the way from then on.

If you wander into music blogs or Urban Vegan Warrior blogs, you'll have to decide if that's where you really want to spend your online life.

What really frosts my flakes, though, is that when I start from this blog, I end up landing on an endless series of, well. Fatuous twit blogs.

I'm sure you've seen them. The profile starts something like "I'm X, and I'm so blessed to be married to my best friend, Y, and we have (fill in the blank) amazing wonderful children, and this is the story of our lives together...."

Then we have endless blather regarding nothing much at all, or really fake crap about how wonderful little Z is this week. I've had a kid too, dear. I know that the corner of the living room is piled hip deep in Tyco and knee-deep in LEGOs, there are Cheerios stuck to the bottom of your sock, and you haven't showered in 2 days. Like on TV, I guess on the internet everyone's house is clean and tidy, (and decorated!), and they've always got something tasty in the crockpot and fresh flowers on the table. Yeah, right.  Kids are wonderful perhaps 10% of the time. The rest of the time they're hard work, emotional turmoil, and an inconceivable expense.

Watch America's Funniest Home Videos sometime. Check out the background of almost any shot. That's how people really live!

Back to the Fatuous Twits, though. They're all so damn serious about telling the universe how great everything is....with absolutely no self-awareness at all that their blog is identical in nearly every detail with literally millions of others. (please note, appropriate use of the word "literally")  Right down to the "married to my best friend" crap. If you're married to someone who isn't your best friend, you've chosen unwisely, or you're on the way out. No sense of the ridiculous, these people, nor a sense of proportion. 

Now, I will admit to an occasional fatuous blather myself, but at least I try to spice it up with humor, self-deprecation, and a bit of original observation. I am not convinced the Universe cares the least about my concerns, nor do I need it to. I understand that if I'm not talking about cool stuff, readers will stop showing up. 

Perhaps what I ought to do is complain to Blogger. Yeah, that'll get some action! "Yo, Blogger! Connect my blog to "Next Blogs" that are about art, not some ditsy suburban mom who posted seven times when her kid was still taking naps and then quit 3 years ago when life got busy."  They really need a filter on that random jump thing not to take you to blogs where the last post has been ripening since 2009. 

Monday morning, the week before Thanksgiving. I need to go do some beading. Unreasonably cranky, I am. Go, bead! Commit some art!  You know who I'm talking to!

2 comments:

  1. I love your cranky rant. I've never really understood the whole mommy blogging thing where the gals simply provide a laundry list of their daily activities. I've read a few that had me laughing so hard that it brought tears to my eyes but the vast majority are from perfect people with self-described perfect lives who seem to have the depth of a puddle.

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  2. I knew there had to be a few fellow curmudgeons out there on the intertubes... Welcome to the blog! :D

    Lynn

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