Friday, June 22, 2012

"And the Hits Just Keep On Coming..."

Who decides when a song played on the radio is a 'hit'? Just simple number of airings can't be it, because that's decided by the playlist programmers. Used to be DJs, when DJs did their own programming, but not any more.  Do listener requests have anything to do with it?

(Note: There is no actual beading content in this post. It's a rant, because it's my blog and I can. Venting can sometimes be good.)

For that matter, in this age of downloads, are there any verifiable 'hits' anymore? Or are they 'heroic downloads?' 

What brought this aggravation on, you ask? I woke up from my nap this afternoon to the travesty that is "Hey, Mr. Big Stuff, Who Do You Think You Are?" by Jean Knight. This, on a radio station, KRTH, that alleges to be "all hits." Not even close. That song was banal and creepy when it was new. If it got airplay enough to qualify as a hit at that time, it was because all the musicians had collectively gone insane and stopped releasing real music. Must have been, because that song is not music. It's just meaningless noise.

I've been grumpy for several days, in fact, about the tired, repetitive playlist on KRTH. It's the radio station on my alarm clock because I really like the morning drive-time team and their byplay. Formerly, I liked much of their playlist as well. But lately, not so much. 

Thursday, I was drowsing along...if I have nothing pressing I can fall right back asleep for quite a while if the music is conducive. A few extra minutes of snooze, without having to actually hit the snooze button. It's so comfortable and floaty, a fine way to wake up gradually. But along about 7:17, my ears were assaulted by, I hate to even type this, "Boogie Wonderland."  Raised me right up like I was levitating, going for the Off button before another 8 beats hit my brain.  The shot of adrenaline as my brain screamed "SAVE ME LYNN BEFORE I GO INSANE!!" didn't make for a gentle start to the day.

Now, some other mornings I have a similar reaction, particularly to awfulness like "It's a Brick, Huh, House" by the Commodores, or anything by War. And then I lie there wondering why in the world they never play any of the actual hits from those days. I never hear any good music from the day. Okay, I take that back. Just did a Google search for "hits of the 70s." Apparently there were no good songs released during that decade. 

Have to retreat to the 60s for good stuff. Moody blues. Jethro Tull. Creedence. Christopher Cross. Frank Zappa. When's the last time you heard Frank Zappa on the radio?  More Motown, dammit! Play the damn Beatles other than on Sunday. Where's the Phil Collins? Mamas & Papas? Beach Boys? James Taylor. Zombies, for cryin' out loud.

And then Friday, KRTH did the same thing, but at 7:02. Never mind any leisurely drift to the surface of waking..."Boogie Wonderland" holy crap. It's not bad enough they skip all the potential good music out there, their playlist isn't even 24 hours long! How many times do they repeat Boogie Wonderland every day? And why hasn't the lightning of the gods obliterated KRTH long before now?

That's it. I've either got to find another wakeup station or invest in an alarm clock that lets me pick my own music. KRTH morning team, I loved ya', but no more. One more run of "Boogie Wonderland" will do me in.

Oh, and for those who got an earworm of one of these awful songs, I apologize and recommend singing a few brisk measures from "Yesterday." That usually clears out the stuck songs in my head.

And if you made it this far, thank you for bearing with me. Feel free to list your own Most Despised Songs in the comments.